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To Laugh Or Not To Laugh, That Is The Joke!
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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Fri Apr 20th, 2007 02:15 am

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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Fri Apr 20th, 2007 02:16 am

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NoClockThing
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 Posted: Fri Apr 20th, 2007 06:36 am

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Good ones! :D



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Angel
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 Posted: Sat Apr 21st, 2007 02:29 am

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LOL!  I love those, DFG!



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Angel
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 Posted: Mon Apr 23rd, 2007 12:27 pm

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Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer/alcohol manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer/alcohol containers:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical KungFu powers.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember)

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy



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Angel
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 Posted: Tue Apr 24th, 2007 12:29 pm

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Siamese twins from the U.S. vacation at the same resort in England every year. The manager recognizes the conjoined brothers on one visit and asks if they keep coming back for the sights.
"Oh, no," one of the twins says. "We've seen everything the city has to offer."

"Perhaps you enjoy our many pubs?" the manager asks.

"We don't drink," one twin replies.

"You must fancy our fish and chips, then?" the manager asks.

"No, we prefer burgers," one twin says.

"Then what makes you come back year after year?" the manager asks.


The left twin points to his brother and says, "It's the only chance he gets to drive."



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Tue Apr 24th, 2007 12:31 pm

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Angel wrote: Siamese twins from the U.S. vacation at the same resort in England every year. The manager recognizes the conjoined brothers on one visit and asks if they keep coming back for the sights.
"Oh, no," one of the twins says. "We've seen everything the city has to offer."

"Perhaps you enjoy our many pubs?" the manager asks.

"We don't drink," one twin replies.

"You must fancy our fish and chips, then?" the manager asks.

"No, we prefer burgers," one twin says.

"Then what makes you come back year after year?" the manager asks.


The left twin points to his brother and says, "It's the only chance he gets to drive."
:laughing1:

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Tue Apr 24th, 2007 03:14 pm

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY


Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good : You just gave "the birds and the bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections

Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly : She makes more money than you do.

Last edited on Tue Apr 24th, 2007 03:15 pm by Dragonflygurl

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Wed Apr 25th, 2007 12:20 am

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Rude Origami

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 02:53 am

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Ketana
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 Posted: Fri Apr 27th, 2007 04:38 pm

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Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?




A: Puppies grow up.











Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?




A: Because they are...










Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?




A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.










Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?




A: Who cares?????.....










Q: What did God say after he created man?




A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!










Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?




A: I don't know, I've never seen either.










Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?




A: i) no mind ii) no business










Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?




A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions.










Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?




A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...










Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?




A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no




intention of driving.










Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?




A: Exchange him!!










Q: Why do men like smart women?




A: Opposites attract.







 



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2007 03:20 am

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Last edited on Sun Apr 29th, 2007 03:21 am by Dragonflygurl

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2007 03:21 am

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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2007 03:22 am

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Ketana
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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2007 05:42 pm

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WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH DAMN DFG THAT LAST ONE LITERALLY CRACKED ME UP!

*GOES FOR SOME SUPER GLUE*



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